英语寓言小故事选读(带翻译) 时间:2009-06-02 11:04来源: 作者: 点击: 次
among the other plants. “What a ridiculous little shoot!” said one. “No one will recognize it; not even THE thistle nor the stinging-nettle.” “It must be a kind of garden plant,” said anoTHEr; and so they sneered and despised the plan
among the other plants. “What a ridiculous little shoot!” said one. “No one will recognize it; not even THE thistle nor the stinging-nettle.” “It must be a kind of garden plant,” said anoTHEr; and so they sneered and despised the plant as a thing from a garden. “Where are you coming?” said THE tall thistles whose leaves were all armed with thorns. “It is stupid nonsense to allow yourself to shoot out in this way; we are not here to support you.” Winter came, and THE plant was covered with snow, but the snow glittered over it as if it had sunshine beneath as well as above. When spring came, THE plant appeared in full bloom: a more beautiful object than any other plant in the forest. And now the professor of botany presented himself, one who could explain his knowledge in black and white. He examined and tested the plant, but it did not belong to his system of botany, nor could he possibly find out to what class it did belong. “It must be some degenerate species,” said he; “I do not know it, and it is not mentioned in any system.” “Not known in any system!” repeated THE thistles and the nettles. THE large trees which GREw round it saw the plant and heard the remarks, but they said not a word either good or bad, which is the wisest plan for those who are ignorant. THEre passed through the forest a poor innocent girl; her heart was pure, and her understanding increased by her faith. Her chief inheritance had been an old Bible, which she read and valued. From its pages she heard the voice of God speaking to her, and telling her to remember what was said of Joseph"s brethren when persons wished to injure her. “They imagined evil in their hearts, but God turned it to good.” If we suffer wrongfully, if we are misunderstood or despised, we must think of Him who was pure and holy, and who prayed for those who nailed Him to the cross, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.” THE girl stood still before the wonderful plant, for the GREen leaves exhaled a sweet and refreshing fragrance, and the flowers glittered and sparkled in the sunshine like colored flames, and the harmony of sweet sounds lingered round them as if each concealed within itself a deep fount of melody, which thousands of years could not exhaust. With pious gratitude the girl looked upon this glorious work of God, and bent down over one of the branches, that she might examine the flower and inhale the sweet perfume. Then a light broke in on her mind, and her heart expanded. Gladly would she have plucked a flower, but she could not overcome her reluctance to break one off. She knew it would so soon fade; so she took only a single green leaf, carried it home, and laid it in her Bible, where it remained ever green, fresh, and unfading. Between the pages of the Bible it still lay when, a few weeks afterwards, that Bible was laid under the young girl"s head in her coffin. A holy calm rested on her face, as if the earthly remains bore the impress of the truth that she now stood in the presence of God. In THE forest the wonderful plant still continued to bloom till it GREw and became almost a tree, and all the birds of passage bowed themselves before it. “That plant is a foreigner, no doubt,” said THE thistles and the burdocks. “We can never conduct ourselves like that in this country.” And the black forest snails actually spat at the flower. THEn came the swineherd; he was collecting thistles and shrubs to burn them for the ashes. He pulled up the wonderful plant, roots and all, and placed it in his bundle. “This will be as useful as any,” he said; so the plant was carried away. Not long after, THE king of the country suffered from the deepest melancholy. He was diligent and industrious, but employment did him no good. They read deep and learned books to him, and then the lightest and most trifling that could be found, but all to no purpose. Then they applied for advice to one of the wise men of the world, and he sent them a message to say that there was one remedy which would relieve and cure him, and that it was a plant of heavenly origin which GREw in the forest in the king"s own dominions. The messenger described the flower so that is appearance could not be mistaken. THEn said the swineherd, “I am afraid I carried this plant away from the forest in my bundle, and it has been burnt to ashes long ago. But I did not know any better.” “You did not know, any better! Ignorance upon ignorance indeed!” THE poor swineherd took these words to heart, for they were addressed to him; he knew not that there were others who were equally ignorant. Not even a leaf of the plant could be found. There was one, but it lay in the coffin of the dead; no one knew anything about it. THEn the king, in his melancholy, wandered out to the spot in the wood. “Here is where the plant stood,” he said; “it is a sacred place.” Then he ordered that the place should be surrounded with a golden railing, and a stationed near it. THE botanical professor wrote a long treatise about the heavenly plant, and for this he was loaded with gold, which improved the position of himself and his family. And this part is really THE most pleasant part of the story. For the plant had disappeared, and the king remained as melancholy and sad as ever, but the sentry said he had always been so. 在稀薄的、清爽的空气中，有一个安琪儿拿着天上花园中的一朵花在高高地飞。当她在吻着这朵花的时候，有一小片花瓣落到树林中潮湿的地上。这花瓣马上就生了根，并且在许多别的植物中间冒出芽来。“这真是一根很滑稽的插枝。”别的植物说。蓟和荨麻都不认识它。 “这一定是花园里长的一种植物！”它们说，并且还发出一声冷笑。它们认为它是花园里的一种植物而开它的玩笑。但是它跟别的植物不同；它在不停地生长；它把长枝子向四面伸开来。“你要伸到什么地方去呢？”高大的蓟说。它的每片叶子都长满了刺。“你占的地方太多！这真是岂有此理！我们可不能扶持你呀！” 冬天来了；雪把植物盖住了。不过雪层上发出光，好像有太阳从底下照上来似的。在春天的时候，这棵植物开出花来；它比树林里的任何植物都要美丽。 这时来了一位植物学教授。他有许多学位来说明他的身份。他对这棵植物望了一眼，检验了一番；但是他发现他的植物体系内没有这种东西。他简直没有办法把它分类。“它是一种变种！”他说。“我不认识它，它不属于任何一科！”“不属于任何一科！”蓟和荨麻说。周围的许多大树都听到了这些话。它们也看出来了，这种植物不属于它们的系统。但是它们什么话也不说——不说坏话，也不说好话。对于傻子说来，这是一种最聪明的办法。 这时有一个贫苦的天真女孩子走过树林。她的心很纯洁；因为她有信心，所以她的理解力很强。她全部的财产只是一部很旧的《圣经》，不过她在每页书上都听见上帝的声音：如果有人想对你做坏事，你要记住约瑟的故事——“他们在心里想着坏事情，但是上帝把它变成最好的东西。”如果你受到委屈，被人误解或者被人侮辱，你只须记住上帝：他是一个最纯洁、最善良的人。他为那些讥笑他和把他钉上十字架的人祈祷：“天父，请原谅他们吧，他们不知道他们自己在做什么事情！” 女孩子站在这棵稀奇的植物面前——它的绿叶发出甜蜜和清新的香气，它的花朵在太阳光中射出五光十色的焰火般的光彩。每朵花发出一种音乐，好像它里面有一股音乐的泉水，几千年也流不尽。女孩子怀着虔诚的心情，望着造物主的这些美丽的创造。她顺手把一根枝条拉过来，细看它上面的花朵，闻一闻这些花朵的香气。她心里轻松起来，感到一种愉快。她很想摘下一朵花，但是她不忍把它折断，因为这样花就会凋谢了。她只是摘下一片绿叶。她把它带回家来，夹在《圣经》里。叶子在这本书里永远保持新鲜，从来没有凋谢。叶子就这样藏在《圣经》里。几个星期以后，当这女孩子躺在棺材里的时候，《圣经》 就放在她的头底下。她安静的脸上露出了一种庄严的、死后的虔诚的表情，好像她的这个尘世的躯壳，就说明她现在已经是在上帝面前。 但是那棵奇异的植物仍然在树林里开着花。它很快就要长成一棵树了。许多候鸟，特别是鹳鸟和燕子，都飞到这儿来，在它面前低头致敬。“这东西已经有点洋派头了！”蓟和牛蒡说。“我们这些本乡生长的植物从来没有这副样子！” 黑蜗牛实际上已经在这植物身上吐粘液了。 这时有一个猪倌来了。他正在采集荨麻和蔓藤，目的是要把它们烧出一点灰来。这棵奇异的植物也被连根拔起来了，扎在一个柴捆里。“也叫它能够有点用处！”他说，同时他也就这样做了。 但是这个国家的君主多少年以来一直害着很重的忧郁病。他是非常忙碌和勤俭，但是这对他的病却没有什么帮助。人们念些深奥的书给他听，或念些世上最轻松的读物给他听，但这对他的病也没有什么好处。人们请教世界上一个最聪明的人，这人派来一个信使。信使对大家说，要减轻和治好国王的病，现在只有一种药方。“在国王的领土里，有一个树林里长着一棵来自天上的植物。它的形状是如此这般，人们决不会弄错。”这儿还附带有一张关于这棵植物的图解，谁一看就可以认得出来。“它不论在冬天或夏天都是绿的。人们只须每天晚上摘下一片新鲜的叶子，把它放在国王的额上，那么国王的头脑就会变得清新，他夜间就会做一个美丽的梦，他第二天也就会有精神了。”这个说明已经是够清楚了。所有的医生和那位植物学教授都到树林里去——是的，不过这棵植物在什么地方呢？ “我想我已经把它扎进柴捆里去了！”猪倌说，“它早就已经烧成灰了。别的事情我不知道！” “你不知道！”大家齐声说。“啊，愚蠢啊！愚蠢啊！你是多么伟大啊！”猪倌听到这话可能感到非常难过，因为这是专讲给他一个人听的。他们连一片叶子也没有找到。那唯一的一片叶子是藏在那个死女孩的棺材里，而这事情谁也不知道。 于是国王在极度的忧郁中亲自走到树林中的那块地方去。“那棵植物曾经在这儿生长过！”他说。“这是一块神圣的地方！”于是这块地的周围就竖起了一道金栏杆。有一个哨兵日夜在这儿站岗。 植物学教授写了一篇关于这棵天上植物的论文。他凭这篇论文得到了勋章。这对他说来是一件很愉快的事情，而且对于他和他的家庭也非常相称。 事实上这是这整个故事最有趣的一段，因为这棵植物不见了。国王仍然是忧郁和沮丧的。“不过他一直是这样。”哨兵说。 New Words and Expressions 生词和词组 1. pluck v. 采，摘 2. sprout v. 发芽，抽条 3. sneer v. 嘲笑，讥笑 4. degenerate a. 退化的，变性的 5. brethren n. （古）兄弟，代指约瑟 6. swineherd n. 猪倌 7. melancholy n. 忧郁，意气消沉 8. dominion n. 统治，领土 9. sentry n. 卫兵，警卫 10.treatise n. （专题）论文
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".
Very Pleased to Meet You
During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.
One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I"m going abroad tomorrow, but I"d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.
Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.
Joan went there and said to the matron, "I"ve come to visit Captain Humphreys."
"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.
"Oh, that"s all right," answered Joan. "I"m his sister."
"I"m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I"m his mother!"
Two soldiers were in camp. The first one"s name was George, and the second one"s name was Bill. George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"
Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him.
Then George said, "Now I haven"t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one.
Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?"
Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door.
George said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped.
"What do you want now?" Bill said to him.
George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What"s your girl-friend"s address?"
Five Months Older
The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.
But John"s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy"s family name, so when he saw John"s papers, he was surprised.
"How old are you?" he said.
"Eighteen, sir," said John.
"But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?"
"Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."
My father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."
One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."
(6)Present for Girlfriend
At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Shall I engrave her name on it?" the jeweler asked.
The customer thought for a moment, and then said, "No-engrave it "To my one and only love". That way, if we ever break up, I can use it again."
Be Careful What You Wish For
A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.
During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.
The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.
Next, it was the husband"s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I"d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."
The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.
One woman lectured her best friend on the nature of the male animal. "Husbands are like wood fires; they go out if left unattened."
"Does that mean," asked the other, "that they make ashes of themselves?"
A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand. The officer asked how he could reward him.
"The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it. If the other fellows knew I"d pulled you out, they"d chuck me in."
Napoleon Was Ill
Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.
"He"s a good boy," said Jack"s father, "and if you let him pass this time, I"m sure he"ll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well."
"No, no, that"s quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn"t know!"
"Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack"s father. "You see, I"m afraid we don"t take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."
He Was Only Wrong by Two
Jack Hawkins was the football coach at an Amercian college, and he was always trying to find good players, but they weren"t always smart enought to be accepted by the college.
One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. "Well," the dean said after some persuasion, "I"d better ask him a few questions first."
Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions, but the student didn"t know any of the answers.
At last the dean said, "Well, what"s five times seven?"
The student thought for a long time and then answered, "Thirty-six."
The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair, but the coach said earnestly, "Oh, please let him in, sir! He was only wrong by two."
When I taught the introduction-to-theater course at North Dakota State University, I required my students to attend the university theater"s current production and write a critique. After viewing a particularly fine performance, one student wrote: "The play was so real, I thought I was actually sitting on my couch at home, watching it on television."
A Fine Match
One day a lady saw a mouse running across her kitchen floor. She was very afraid of mouse, so she ran out of the house, got into a bus and went to the shops. There she bought a mousetrap. The shopkeeper said to her, "Put some cheese in it and you will soon catch that mouse."
The lady went home with her mousetrap, but when she looked in her cupboard, she could not find any cheese in it. She did not want to go back to the shop, because it was very late, so she cut a picture of some cheese out of a magazine and put that in the trap.
Surprisingly, the picture of the cheese was quite successful! When the lady came down to the kitchen the next morning she found a picture of a mouse in the trap beside the picture of the cheese!
For months I hinted that I needed a new wedding ring, since I had developed an allergy to gold. On my birthday, while I was gardening, my husband asked me for gift suggestions. I held my hands up and said, "Well, you"ll notice that my hands are bare."
Later that evening I opened my present with enthusiasm. "Happy birthday," he said, as I unwrapped a new pair of gardening gloves.
Several weeks after our son began his freshman year at Alma College in Michigan, my husband and I decided to visit him. I was careful to call him a few days in advance to "warn" him that we would be coming. When we arrived at the dorm, however, I was taken aback by the disarray of his room. "Forgot we were coming, didn"t you?" I teased.
"Are you kidding?" he replied, "Why else would I have bothered to clean?"
One of my favorite teachers at Southeast Missouri State University in Cape Girardeau was known of his droll sense of humor. Explaining his ground rules to one freshman class, he said, "Now I know my lectures can often be dry and boring, so I don"t mind if you look at your watches during class. I do, however, object to your pounding them on the desk to make sure they"re still running."
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1.Today and friends of foreign travel, outside air is very good, people feel very comfortable. We all appreciate the fine girls bicycles. We enjoyed the beautiful nature brought. We happily spent a happy day. 今天和朋友一起出外交游,外面的空气很好,人感觉很舒服.我们骑着自行车一路欣赏鸟语花香.享受着大自然带给我们的无限美好.大家开开心心地度过了愉快的一天. 2.Today Mailehaoduo clothes, and parents take to the streets is happy, the parents have to pay to buy things. Unlike in their street to buy things they like to take a long time but saw the price, Ha-ha, is really very happy. I love my parents, I too thank them for the care and love. `` 今天买了好多衣服,和父母上街就是愉快,买东西有父母帮付钱.不像平时自己上街买东西碰到喜欢的但看了价钱都要考虑好久,呵呵,真的是很开心.我爱我的父母,太感谢他们对我的关心和爱戴了. 3.Flute " Robinson Crusoe " of good fortune, novelist of British, describe protagonist drift about on the island, overcome the difficulty, the legend story of pioneering an enterprise with painstaking efforts. Novel write true naturally, legendary. The protagonist plants the crops on the detached island, puts up the log cabin, has eaten the innumerable trials and tribulations, survive. Want, go back human world anxious, want to go how about go out of these damnable place only like make him to be fascinated, result fail, get back to, long separated for Britain for 28 year give me enlightenment by " Robinson"s records of adventure " on 1868 year finally, tanacity of him let me wait for a chance to cause trouble, want, march toward another goal for life, look like Robinson like that spend one"s own strength,reach ideal realm one"s own. We need possess Robinson so spirit of struggle diligently. 英国小说家笛福的《鲁滨逊漂流记》描述了主人公漂流海岛,战胜困难,艰苦创业的传奇故事. 小说写得真实自然,富有传奇色彩.主人公在孤岛上种庄稼,搭木屋,吃了千辛万苦,生存下来.但想回人间的心切,使他着迷般地只想到如何走出这个鬼地方,结果还是失败了,最后于1868年回到阔别28年的英国 《鲁滨孙漂流记》给我以启示,他的顽强让我蠢蠢欲动,想要迈向人生的另一目标,像鲁滨孙那样用自己的力量,到达自己理想的境界. 我们需要具备鲁滨逊那样的刻苦奋斗的精神. The World"s Greatest Swordsman At an exhibition of the world"s best swordsman, the third-place fencer took the stage. A fly was released, and with an arc of his sword he cut the fly in half. The crowd cheered. Then the second-place man sliced a fly into quarters. A hush fell in anticipation of the world"s greatest swordsman. His blade came down in a mighty arc - but the insect continued on its way! The crowd was aghast. The greatest swordsman had missed his target completely, yet he continued to smile. "Why are you so happy?" someone yelled. "You missed!" "Ah," replied the swordsman, "you weren"t watching very carefully. They fly lives, yes - but he will never be a father." 世界上最伟大的击剑手 在一场世界最佳击剑手表演中,排名第三的击剑手上场了.一只苍蝇放了出来,剑划了一个弧,他将苍蝇劈成了两半.观众欢呼起来.紧接着排名第二的人将一只苍蝇切成了四半.现场一阵沉默,人们期盼着世界上最伟大的击剑手出场. 他的剑锋以一个巨大的弧线划了下来－－然而那只昆虫还在继续飞行!观众被惊呆了.最伟大的击剑手完全错过了他的目标,然而他还在微笑着. “你为什么这么高兴?”有人嚷道,“你没击中!” “啊,”剑手答道,“你刚才没有很仔细地看.苍蝇还活着,是的－－但他永远也做不成爸爸了.” ————————————————————————————————————————— A Mistake An American, a Scot and a Canadian were killed in a car accident. They arrived at the gates of heaven, where a flustered St. Peter explained that there had been a mistake. "Give me $500 each," he said, "and I"ll return you to earth as if the whole thing never happened." "Done!" said the American. Instantly, he found himself standing unhurt near the scene. "Where are the others?" asked a medic. "Last I knew," said the American, "the Scot was haggling price, and the Canadian was arguing that his government should pay." 搞错了 一位美国人,一位英格兰人和一位加拿大人在一场车祸中丧生.他们到达天堂的门口.在那里,醉醺醺的圣彼德解释说是搞错了.“每人给我五百美元,”他说,“我将把你们送回人间,就象什么都没有发生过一样.” “成交!”美国人说.立刻,他发现自己毫不损伤地站在现场附近. “其他人在哪儿?”一名医生问道. “我离开之前,”那名美国人说,“我看见英格兰人正在砍价,而那名加拿大人正在分辩说应该由他的政府来出这笔钱.” ———————————————————————————————————————— Pig or Witch A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!" The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "WITCH(女巫)!" They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road. If only men would listen. 猪还是女巫 一个男人在一条陡峭狭窄的山路上驾车,一个女人相向驾车而来.他们相遇时,那个女的从窗中伸出头来叫到：“猪!”那个男的立即从窗中伸出头来回敬道：“女巫!”他们继续前行.这个男的在下一个路口转弯时,撞上了路中间的一头猪.要是这个男的能听懂那个女人的意思就好了. ————————————————————————————————————————— Response Ability An Ogden, Iowa, minister was matching coins with a member of his congregation for a cup of coffee. When asked if that didn"t constitute gambling, the minister replied, "It"s merely a scientific method of determining just who is going to commit an act of charity." Philosopher Bertrand Russell, asked if he was willing to die for his beliers, replied: "Of course not. After all, I may be wrong." A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?" The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit." 答问技巧 衣阿华州奥格根的一位牧师正在与一位教友为一杯咖啡而猜硬币.别人问他那是否构成赌博行为时,牧师答道：“这仅仅是决定由谁来做一件善事的一种科学方法.” 当我人问哲学家罗素是否愿意为了他的信仰而献身时,他答道：“当然不会.毕竟,我可能会是错的.” 一份报纸组织了一场竞赛,为下面的问题征集最佳答案：“如果卢浮宫起了火,而你只能救出一幅画,你将救出哪一幅?” 获奖的答案是：“最接近门口的那一幅.” ———————————————————————————————————————— Jonesie The Great Lion Hunter A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast. For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion. In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling shrieks coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion. "What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion?" asked the chief. "Forget the damn lion!" he howled. "Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?" 伟大的猎手Jonesie 有个小村庄正为一只吃人的狮子而烦恼.于是,村长派人去请伟大的猎手Jonesie来杀死这只野兽. 猎手躺着等了几个晚上,但狮子一直没有出现.最后,他要求村长杀只羊然后把头皮给他.把羊皮披在身上后,猎人到草原上去等狮子. 半夜,村民被从草原传来的声嘶力竭的尖叫声惊醒.他们小心地靠近后,看到猎手正躺在草地上痛苦地呻吟.没有狮子出没的蛛丝马迹. “Jonesie,怎么了?狮子在哪?”村长问. “哪有狮子!”猎人怒吼道,“哪个傻瓜把公牛放出来了?” ———————————————————————————————————————— Weather Predict A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow rain." The next day it rained. A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow storm." The next day there was a hailstorm. "This Indian is incredible," said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather. However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn"t show up for two weeks. Finally the director sent for him. "I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow," said the director, "and I"m depending on you. What will the weather be like?" The Indian shrugged his shoulders. "Don"t know," he said. "Radio is broken." 天气预报 一个电影摄制组在沙漠深处工作.一天,一个印度老人到导演跟前告诉导演说"明天下雨."第二天果然下雨了. 一周后,印度人又来告诉导演说,"明天有风暴."果然,第二天下了雹暴. "印度人真神,"导演说.他告诉秘书雇佣该印度人来预报天气. 几次预报都很成功.然后,接下来的两周,印度人不见了. 最后,导演派人去把他叫来了."我明天必须拍一个很大的场景,"导演说,"这得靠你了.明天天气如何啊?" 印度人耸了耸肩."我不知道,"印度人说,"收音机坏了." —————————————————————————————————————————— I Am Acting Like a Lady One day when women"s dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store, a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece. But he soon found himself being battered by frantic women. He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowed. "You there!" challenged a thrill voice. "Can"t you act like a gentleman?" "Listen," he said, "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady." 我要表现得象位女士 一天,远东百货公司的女装大减价,一位高贵的中年男士想给太太买一件.可是,没过多久,他发现自己已被疯狂的女人冲得踉踉跄跄. 他竭力忍耐着.后来,他低下头,挥动双臂,挤过人群. “你干嘛?”有人尖声叫道,“你难道不能表现得象位绅士吗?” “听着,”他说,“我已经象绅士一样表现了一个小时.从现在起,我要表现得象个女士.”